Tye's Story: Adjusting to a new way of life

On 16 June 2022 I was involved in a serious motorcycle accident that resulted in eight broken ribs, a broken collarbone and a very serious spinal cord injury that left me paralysed from the chest down. After the accident I was in a coma for three weeks and doctors said I might not be able to walk again. At this time, I also found out my partner was pregnant so there were a lot of conflicting emotions and thoughts!

Mainly I just kept thinking about how grateful I was to be alive. A lot of thoughts came into my head about the emotional attachments I had and how I wished I’d spent more time with the people who matter most to me. It made me think about what really mattered rather than materialistic things – I just wanted to be with my partner and be there for my newborn.

I had to go for physiotherapy sessions to learn how to move my body again and support myself in using a wheelchair. I was so grateful to the doctors and nurses who helped and supported me that it inspired me to be there for other people and do everything I could to help others.

Living with a disability obviously comes with its challenges but I found that many of these were mental as I came to terms with what had happened. In my head, I was worried about how I was going to raise my newborn son and how I was going to support my family.

Physically, there were changes I had to adapt to. Simple things like walking down the street and holding my partner’s hand were different. Now that my son is a bit older, I’m having to train to get out of my wheelchair and onto the floor so I can play with him, which I would never have thought twice about before.

There were also other complications. After my injury, the doctors found a cyst in my spinal cord which has caused tetraplegia (partial or total loss of function in the arms, legs, middle or pelvis). It’s affected my left arm and left me with a lack of sensation and dexterity.

I’m slowly building up as much strength as I can to compensate for the lack of mobility. It’s tough as it makes it difficult moving my wheelchair and getting in and out of it. It takes up a lot of mental space as I have to consider mobility when I go out and about or stay somewhere new. For example, a hotel will say it’s accessible on their website but when you get there, you’ll find a small step to the door and then you need to have someone strong enough to help you.

I recently went to Santorini for my cousin’s wedding and, despite there being a few challenges with the accessibility and a lot of hills, it’s encouraged me with other trips. If I can make it work there, I can make it work anywhere! Which led to me travelling by myself to meet my brother in Jamaica for a week.

If I could give any piece of advice to others, whether you have a physical or invisible disability, I’d say make sure you have someone you can talk to and, above all, be able to advocate for yourself! A lot of people try to move my wheelchair without asking and it’s important to advocate your boundaries and tell others what you need.

For allies, my main advice is try not to be too pushy and make assumptions without checking with the person first. It’s great that people want to help but it’s much better to ask someone if there’s a way you can help them. As an example, when I’m going uphill in my wheelchair people try to push my chair to ‘help’ me without checking with me first. I know I’ll be doing it on my own at some point, so I want to test my own limits.